May 25th I was really sick and wanted to just go to sleep and because of the way things are you can’t just go to the doctors anymore and ask for like a relaxant like Xanax or whatever because then you look like a drug seeker – so I was going to ask this guy I knew if he had anything. I knew he sold whatever is popular with the kids these days and he, being in his 20s was a lot younger than me.
So anyway – I called up this kid I knew for a long time and he told me to “come on down” and I met him in Philly somewhere except I noticed when I pulled up that he looked really fucked up which was unusual because he might have done, you know, this or that, dabbled, what have you, but he wasn’t no junkie.
Well I was sitting in my car and he was standing outside all of a sudden he starts bringing out all these bags and pills and money and man if I was a bitch, or not who I am, I would have just robbed him blind. I could have so easily because he put 100.00 in my console and like 200 pills and a variety of bags of things and then walked away! Or tried to walk away. And I said “Jay?!? What the hell are you doing? Where are you going?”
A lady who knew him also walked up to the car and she wanted something and he gave her what she wanted but everything was done in extreme slow motion and she was saying, “My husband is gonna kill me, we gotta hurry this up.” and she was getting pissed I could tell so he gave her what she needed, but then taking in his startling appearance she asked me if I was going to take him to his mom’s house who lived a few blocks away, but by then I was starting to get nervous.
There was all this shit and money everywhere and at this point he was totally dipping like hardcore into the street.
I said, “John, do you want me to drive you home?” He looked at me in a haze and then a book, a Dr. Seuss book, about socks, was in the back of my car and he asked if I could drop it into his mailbox for his son. I said, “sure” and then he told me to knock on the door and talk to his mom which I wasn’t so sure she’d be all that thrilled to see me since I probably represented to her the seedy side of his life (because of our past history – which I won’t go into right now – nothing sexual, I just don’t feel like typing it all out right yet)
So anyway, I cleaned up the bags and the pills and put the 100.00 in his front pants pocket and he was dipping so bad at this point if a cop drove by we’d be toast.
So eventually I got out of there and I did go to his house and dropped the Dr. Seuss book in his mom’s mailbox.
A few days later I tried to call to see if he was ok but there was no answer. A few weeks went by and I ALWAYS heard from him by that point and I thought – Was he mad at me? Did he snap out of his stupor and think I took that 100 or some other money he may have lost. I could have taken thousands of dollars worth of drugs off of him that day but I would never do that- back in my cocaine days dealers used to leave me alone in their house with coke and money because they knew I would never touch it.
That’s not who I am.
Well, finally last night I straight up plugged his name into my phone and it came up in the obit section. He died. Kid was no more than 25 and that’s pushing it, probably even younger.
I am completely devastated and wonder what I could have done more…taken him to his moms and shown her what kind of shape he was in?
But anyone who knows that when you do that what happens is that person usually gets mad at the person trying to help.
I’ve had cops tell me that when they’re giving an Od’ing person Narcane they start freaking out asking why they did that – why they “ruined” their high and that they were “cool”
RIP John, my heart is broken for you, your mother and your son who probably won’t even remember you (he’s only about 2) I bought him shirts and toys when he was first born.
I am truly in a deep state of shock and saddened about that day….about what happened…and about how brutal drugs really are.
He must have been in some kind of emotional pain to get THAT high, and…and now he’s gone……